Written by: Mary Bronstein
Starring: Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater, A$AP Rocky
Rating: [3.5/5]
The amount of responsibility in conjunction with the thanklessness inflicted upon mothers has been well-documented in film. This appears in big and small ways that we can acknowledge if even a little honest. Many ways exist for filmmakers to capture how this can all weigh a mother down, but none quite do it in the manner of If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, where it takes you on a nonstop anxiety ride with no release on the horizon.
Already stretched to her limits, Linda (Rose Byrne), mother of a child required to receive nourishment through a feeding tube, struggles with all of the responsibilities on her plate. This only becomes worse when the ceiling in her home collapses and she and her daughter must stay in a motel, she must contend with needy clients, and her husband remains away from home because of work.
A thoughtful experiment should be run in having individuals wear a heart rate monitor when watching If I Had Legs I’d Kick You to scientifically prove the impact this film has on anyone who chooses to experience it. The emotions the film takes us on vary from annoyance, fear, concern, discomfort, and anger. Each of these emotions ebbs and flows throughout the film, making it quite the experience, but at no moment does it truly relent in exactly what the film seeks to convey about the unbearable weight motherhood puts on women.
It would be simple if Linda only had one singular issue to contend with, but unfortunately when it rains it pours for our lead character. She continually must juggle all of these issues placed before her, and this film does not shy away from putting the audience in her shoes and the psychological warfare at play for her. So much of this comes from the sound design and how the persistent noises happening around her from the mundanities of life continually bear down on her in ways that would drive even the most stable person insane. All of this stems, of course, from the expectations placed upon mothers, where even when she attempts her best to handle it all, in each phase she feels the criticism of not measuring up. Not something necessarily new for mothers out there but this film, like no other, makes the audience feel that particular pain.
For as much as this film basks in driving us and Linda insane, there’s a bountiful amount of humor on display. This mostly transpires in the sessions Linda holds with her colleague and therapist portrayed by Conan O’Brien. He naturally injects dry humor into this character, but in these moments you cannot help but laugh at his annoyance of her and how someone who shows compassion for his clients seemingly cannot extend the same thing for poor Linda. Nothing remains other than for us to laugh at this circumstance all before we return to the noisy and painful realities of her life.
Outside of the larger message at play, most will walk away from this film with the same impression I did: Rose Byrne absolutely ate up this role. I never knew she had a performance like this in her, and perhaps this stems from not seeing if she has taken on other roles outside of broad comedies, but what she pulls out of the hat in her portrayal of Linda completely took me aback. A soul-crushing performance where you can feel the weight of everything her life has put on her continuing to drive her to a place where she will eventually snap. Byrne goes through an emotional gauntlet in this film, and she hits every single note. It makes me dearly hope she can continue to tap into this, as it caught everyone’s attention, including the Academy’s, as it led to her first Academy Award nomination.
“Stressful” does not aptly describe the feeling the audience will experience in watching If I Had Legs I’d Kick You. An outright experience like no other that will continue to smother and mightily get under the skin of anyone who watches it. Mary Bronstein pieces together an extremely impressive film as she winds the tension to a breaking point that will lead Linda, as a character, to a place other mothers will relate to as the whole world rests on their shoulders. Certainly not a film I would ever want to watch again, meant in the most complimentary way possible.
Films with Josh 
